Pretty sure it's obvious now that I'm one of those people who suffers from depression. I just can't bring myself to say the word. I hate the thought of being weak. I hate it when people view those who are depressed as some weak humans who can't take control over their own life. Well I honestly can but sometimes- sometimes I can't. Apparently there is only so far a person can keep it cool. I had a really bad weekend. I guess I succumb too much on my negative thoughts that it's driving me insane. Lol why do you think I wrote such a bright title, this post is not just about the dark bits. Hang in there we'll see the light soon. It's honestly very tiring. I find it hard to straighten myself back like I used to. So I cried all day all night for no obvious reasons. I have lots of tasks before me but I can't bring myself to sit down and finish them. I wasted lots of time and energy plus I can't sleep. Yeah I'm a total mess. 

I wrote about how I'm slightly suffering in social media and I have people reaching out to me out of no where. It's amazing how a single line of words can make me feel good. So good. You see, I find that my room is very cold these days. Even though it's shining bright outside I can't help but feeling frozen. I think it's another medical symptoms of mine. And I can't help but think this is just like my mental state right now. I feel so cold with zero warmth.  I forgot how it feels like to be comforted by words. I forgot what it's like to have someone reaching their hands for you and tell me everything is gonna be alright. I was surprised something so simple can make me happy. There's also someone who said that I should take a break and rest up. I have to stop forcing myself to work when I obviously in no condition to do it. So I took that simple advice. I took a painkiller, put on my socks and lie down under the blanket. I had a really good sleep after such a long time. I woke up feeling refreshed again. 

If you feel unlucky, that's exactly what happens, just like if you don't think you can do the job. Don't be led around by negative thoughts. If you're truly depressed, take some time off. If you feel overwhelmed, cut back on your work load. All these lessons I learnt, I hope I can make better choices in the future.