I have not write for so long I don't know how to start. I just feel kinda empty but at the same time my head is filled with so many thoughts it's starting to get heavy. So I opt to write in this blog. For recent life update, I'm currently doing my internship. I've finished all degree-related tasks and I guess I can graduate next month. But seeing the current COVID-19 situation in Malaysia it is a little too far retched to dream of a convocation. Not gonna lie, it sucks. It's my childhood dream to wear that graduation gown. I've watched many people before me graduated. And has always long to receive my own scroll on-stage. But if it is what God wills then there is nothing I can do about it. I hope I can further my studies in the future. For knowledge is endless. 

Besides that short life update, I've been thinking about the subject of love. Well, actually I stopped thinking of finding it. True love seems more like a fiction to me. I always see my friend constantly getting heartbroken by different guys. Ending with one, then straight away going to another. There was once a time I wonder what idiot would do that (sorry, friend). But I actually have the answer all along. Deep inside our hearts we all long to be loved. Turns out I was looking for love in every little things too. I needed that reassurance too. I don't have to be in a relationship with guys to need to experience this. When I'm alone I also begged for that feeling of warmth. But I too fell like love is too far fetched for me to dream of. I can't help but feel I am undeserving to be loved. After all, I have been alone for the rest of my life. People say to believe to believe in Jodoh and stuff but I am slowly doubting it. Is it too bad for me? At this point I have no idea what I'm typing anymore lol. My fingers are just moving on its own as if its been possessed. I think I did manage to take off some steam by writing. Hope you have a wonderful day bye